22 Best Books to Build Emotional Intelligence, Resilience, and Mental Toughness

Books for emotional intelligence, resilience, and mental toughness can help anyone—adults or younger people—build stronger minds.

These books show how to develop the skills to deal with emotions, challenges, and adversity. You can improve your emotional resilience by learning the keys to emotional regulation and mental toughness.

Developing mental toughness and resilience is important for overcoming difficult situations, like abuse or grief.

The best-selling books on these topics can train your mind to strengthen your self-confidence and build a stronger, more resilient mindset.

You will learn how to make better decisions, handle pain, and grow mentally. These books provide important strategies for increasing self-awareness and improving your mental health.

They are a great book for building your resilience, learning discipline and becoming a stronger person emotionally and mentally.

Here are 22 book recommendations that can help strengthen your emotional intelligence, build resilience, and improve mental toughness.

Top Books to Improve EQ, Emotional Intelligence, Resilience, and Mental Strength

What is emotional intelligence (EQ), and why does it matter more than IQ? In the workplace, a strong EQ can boost leadership and improve relationships. It also helps us build resilience, manage emotions, and increase self-confidence.

Books on EQ, such as Emotional Intelligence and Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman and Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, offer key insights into building emotional awareness and resilience.

They teach us how to deal with anxiety, stress, and adversity. These best-selling books also help kids, young adults, and adults train their emotions, boosting their mental and emotional resilience.

Improving EQ is crucial for managers and leaders. It can improve one's ability to work with others, train one in emotional regulation, and even help overcome grief. 

Whether one is a beginner or experienced, learning how to develop emotional strength can make one a stronger leader and person.

Key Takeaways: 

• Emotional intelligence books - Targets resources about understanding, managing, and effectively expressing emotions, recognizing emotions in others (empathy), and handling relationships.
• Mental toughness books—This category focuses on literature about developing psychological fortitude, perseverance, and the ability to overcome challenges and setbacks.
• Emotional resilience books - Centers on books about bouncing back from emotional difficulties, adapting to stress, and maintaining psychological well-being through hardship.

1. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

• The book focuses on emotional intelligence and presents both theoretical knowledge and practical case studies.
• It includes illustrations and brief annotations to make the content easy to understand.
• Each chapter ends with an emotional intelligence assessment test to help readers track their progress.
• The book starts by explaining how to measure and improve emotional intelligence.
• Key areas covered in the book:
  • Understanding yourself: Recognizing and observing your emotions is key to emotional intelligence.
  • Emotional intelligence and its four skills:
    • Self-awareness: The ability to recognize your emotions and tendencies in different situations.
    • Self-management: Controlling your emotions instead of letting them control you.
    • Social awareness: Sensing and understanding others' emotions and perspectives.
    • Relationship management: Handling relationships and regulating emotions in interactions with others.
• The book provides strategies and skills to improve emotional intelligence.

2. Grit – Angela Duckworth

• The book explores why some people succeed and others do not.
• Angela Duckworth, a psychologist, studies perseverance and effort.
• She researches National Spelling Bee champions, military trainees, and top salespeople.
• Her findings show that effort matters more than natural talent.
• She explains success with two formulas:
  • Talent × Effort = Skill
  • Skill × Effort = Achievement
• Grit is the ability to keep working toward long-term goals despite challenges.
• People often admire natural talent and overlook hard work.
• Duckworth identifies four ways to build grit:
  1. Find Fascination – Develop a deep interest in your work.
  2. Strive for Daily Improvement – Compete with your past self.
  3. Focus on Purpose – Connect your work to a bigger goal.
  4. Adopt a Growth Mindset – Believe you can improve with effort.
• Success depends on continuous learning and persistence.
• The book argues that anyone can develop grit through practice and mindset shifts.

3. The Power of Resilience – Robert Brooks & Sam Goldstein

• The author shares their journey to becoming a published writer.
• It took three years of rejection before they got their first book published.
• Even after publishing ten children's books, they still fear rejection.
• Resilience is essential for overcoming challenges in life.
• The author defines resilience as the ability to bounce back.
• They believe there are three constants in life: change, waves, and things not going according to plan.
• Accepting setbacks early helps people become hopeful, flexible, and adaptable.
• The author recalls their first lesson in resilience when they fell off a bike but got back on it.
• They explain that setbacks happen at all ages, not just in middle school.
• Their strategies for handling setbacks include:
  • Acknowledging their feelings.
  • Taking care of their physical health with exercise, sleep, and nutrition.
  • Focusing on what they can control instead of worrying about what they can't.
  • Using the "power of yet" to remind themselves that growth is possible.
• The author encourages young people to see resilience as an important quality.

4. The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown

• The book explores the difference between professing love and practicing love.
• Brené Brown combines research with personal experiences to explain key concepts.
• She studies human behavior, focusing on emotions like shame, vulnerability, and fear.
• The book highlights "wholehearted living," which involves courage, compassion, and connection.
• Wholehearted living means accepting imperfections and embracing self-worth.
• Vulnerability is essential for love, self-acceptance, and meaningful connections.
• Brown discusses the importance of practicing courage, compassion, and connection daily.
• Courage means being honest about who you are and how you feel.
• Many people misunderstand courage as heroism, but it is about being true to oneself.
• Self-acceptance leads to greater acceptance of others and more compassion.
• Setting boundaries and holding people accountable prevent feelings of mistreatment.
• Love and belonging require believing in one’s own worth.
• The difference between belonging and fitting in is significant.
• Belonging means being accepted for who you are, while fitting in requires changing yourself.
• The book encourages readers to embrace imperfection, practice vulnerability, and live authentically.

5. The Road to Character – David Brooks

• The book explores the importance of character and moral values in modern society.
• It contrasts resume virtues (skills for career success) with eulogy virtues (qualities remembered after death).
• The author uses the metaphor of Adam 1 and Adam 2 to explain external success vs. internal character.
• Society prioritizes achievement and self-promotion, but true fulfillment comes from cultivating deeper virtues.
• The book highlights moral exemplars, including Dorothy Day and Dwight Eisenhower, who lived with strong character.
• The first step to character development is answering a summons, a calling to serve others rather than focusing on personal desires.
• Examples like those of Viktor Frankl and James Stockdale show how adversity can shape character and purpose.
• The second step is self-mastery, requiring discipline and habit-building, as discussed by William James.
• Turning weaknesses into strengths is crucial, as illustrated by historical figures like Demosthenes and Samuel Johnson.
• The book emphasizes humility, which allows people to recognize and improve their flaws.
• To build character, one must listen to deeper values, resist constant distractions, and commit to self-improvement.

6. Mindset – Carol S. Dweck

• People have different ways of thinking, acting, and reacting, and these differences are influenced by both genetics and the environment.
• Experts now believe that intelligence is not fixed and can grow over time through effort and learning.
• There are two types of mindsets: fixed mindset and growth mindset.
  • A fixed mindset believes that abilities are unchangeable, leading to constant attempts to prove one's worth.
  • A growth mindset believes that abilities can develop through effort, learning, and experience.
• The key difference between these mindsets is how success and failure are viewed:
  • In a fixed mindset, failure means you are not capable.
  • In a growth mindset, failure is an opportunity to learn and improve.
• A growth mindset can improve relationships because people believe they can change and grow through effort.
• To change your mindset:
  1. Identify where your current mindset comes from (e.g., parents, teachers).
  2. Practice self-awareness by recognizing your thoughts and reactions.
  3. Understand that changing your mindset takes time and effort.
• The growth mindset helps people achieve goals while also finding joy and satisfaction in the process, not just the results.

7. The Courage to Be Disliked – Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga

• The book is a dialogue between a youth and a philosopher about Adler's psychology and how it helps people deal with life's challenges.
• The world seems complicated, but it's simple. Human beings complicate things with their biases and experiences.
• It takes courage to see the world without filters and let go of rigid beliefs to find happiness.
• Adler's psychology suggests that past traumas don't define us. We create our unhappiness and can change our present.
• Anger is a tool people use to take revenge. We can control our anger and choose how to act instead of letting it control us.
• All problems are rooted in relationships. How we relate to ourselves and others affects our happiness.
• Feeling inferior is normal, but using it as an excuse to avoid growth harms us. We should aim to become our ideal selves.
• See people as comrades, not enemies. Life is not a competition with others; focus on self-growth.
• True freedom comes when we live life on our terms, without worrying about other people's expectations. Draw boundaries when necessary.

8. Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life – Eric Greitens

• The book explores resilience and how to develop it in life.
• It is inspired by letters Eric Greitens wrote to a struggling Navy SEAL friend.
• Greitens applies Stoic philosophy to help people overcome hardship.
• He argues that most people let feelings control their actions and identity.
• Instead, people should first define who they want to become and then act accordingly.
• He uses examples from Greek theater, where actors took on identities by wearing masks.
• He highlights Arnold Schwarzenegger, who acted as if he were already a champion before winning titles.
• He references Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, which promotes acting as if success has already been achieved.
• Tony Robbins states that self-identity determines personal and professional success.
• Greitens encourages people to think long-term, imagining their ideal identity 10 or 20 years from now.
• The book provides exercises to help readers engage with their growth.
• Greitens emphasizes that taking control of identity leads to better actions, emotions, and outcomes in life.

9. The 5 AM Club – Robin Sharma

• The book teaches the benefits of waking up at 5 AM.
• It explains how early mornings boost productivity and success.
• The first half of the book contains fiction, while the second half provides key lessons.
• The author introduces the 20/20/20 formula, which divides the first hour of the day into three parts:
  • 5:00 AM – 5:20 AM: Exercise, hydrate, and energize the body.
  • 5:20 AM – 5:40 AM: Reflect, journal, and meditate.
  • 5:40 AM – 6:00 AM: Learn, read, and listen to self-improvement content.
• The book introduces the 90/90/1 formula, which suggests:
  • Focus on one important task for 90 minutes daily for 90 days to master it.
• The author provides a daily schedule for optimal productivity and self-improvement.
• He emphasizes that waking up early requires going to bed by 9-10 PM.
• The book suggests customizing the routine based on individual needs and goals.
• It promotes discipline, consistency, and long-term self-growth.

10. Rising Strong – Brené Brown

• The book "Rising Strong" by Brené Brown explores how people can recover from failure and grow stronger.
• Brown explains that failure is a necessary part of life and learning. Facing struggles helps people change and improve.
• The process of rising strong happens in three stages: The Reckoning, The Rumble, and The Revolution.
• The Reckoning is about recognizing emotions and understanding how they affect thoughts and actions.
• The Rumble involves questioning personal beliefs and stories created from failure, such as feelings of inadequacy.
• The Revolution is about rewriting personal narratives to move forward with confidence and resilience.
• Brown emphasizes that embracing vulnerability leads to personal growth, stronger relationships, and better leadership.
• She encourages readers to shift from a mindset of fear to one of courage and wholehearted living.
• The book shares real-life stories, research, and insights to help readers apply these ideas to their own lives.
• Brown's message is clear: failure is not the end but an opportunity to rise stronger and live more authentically.

11. Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor E. Frankl

• Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist, survived the Auschwitz and Dachau concentration camps during World War II. His wife, parents, and brother were killed.
• He endured extreme suffering, including starvation, disease, brutal labor, and freezing temperatures.
• Despite the horrors, he found that having a purpose helped prisoners survive. Those who lost hope often perished.
• He believed that suffering gains meaning when seen as a challenge rather than a punishment.
• Frankl’s own purpose was to survive so he could share his experiences and teachings with the world.
• He emphasized that people always have a choice in how they respond to hardships. Attitude, not circumstances, defines one’s experience.
• He illustrated this through a grieving man who found peace by realizing he had spared his wife from suffering.
• Frankl argued that success and happiness cannot be pursued directly but come as byproducts of serving a greater cause.
• His teachings stress finding meaning in life, even in the darkest times, to overcome suffering and grow stronger.

12. The Art of Happiness – Dalai Lama & Howard Cutler

• The Dalai Lama believes the purpose of life is happiness.
• Happiness comes from training the mind and controlling emotions.
• Positive traits like kindness and compassion increase happiness.
• Negative emotions like anger and envy cause suffering.
• People should focus on events that bring joy and reduce negativity.
• Compassion and respect help build strong relationships.
• Accepting suffering as a natural part of life makes it easier to handle.
• Change is constant, and resisting it leads to pain.
• A three-step plan—education, determination, and action—helps overcome negativity.
• Replacing negative emotions with positive ones, like patience over anger, leads to inner peace.

13. The Obstacle Is the Way – Ryan Holiday

• A king places a boulder in the road to test his people. Most avoid it, but one man moves it and finds gold beneath.
• The story teaches that obstacles hide opportunities for growth and success.
• The Stoic idea is that what blocks the way becomes the way forward.
• Perception is the first step in overcoming problems. Seeing obstacles helps in finding solutions.
• John D. Rockefeller saw economic crises as lessons, staying calm while others panicked.
• Astronauts and soldiers train to control fear, helping them stay calm in tough situations.
• Pericles used logic to calm his soldiers during an eclipse, proving fear comes from ignorance.
• Eisenhower turned a Nazi counterattack into an opportunity, leading to victory in World War II.
• Taking action is key. Demosthenes overcame his weaknesses through relentless practice.
• Amelia Earhart accepted a small role to gain experience, later becoming a legendary pilot.

14. David and Goliath – Malcolm Gladwell

• David was a young shepherd, overlooked by his own family when the prophet Samuel came to choose a new king of Israel.
• God chose David to be the future king, even though Saul was still ruling.
• The Philistines went to war with Israel, and their champion, Goliath, was a giant over 9 feet tall.
• Goliath was strong and wore heavy armor, making Israel's warriors too afraid to fight him.
• David had faith in God and volunteered to face Goliath without fear.
• He rejected traditional weapons and fought with a sling and a stone.
• With God's power, David struck Goliath on the forehead with a single stone, killing him instantly.
• David’s victory showed that faith in God is stronger than physical strength.
• This battle symbolized the struggle between good and evil, teaching that true confidence comes from God, not human strength.
• David's courage and faith led him toward his destiny as the future king of Israel.

15. Atomic Habits – James Clear

• Atomic Habits explains how small, consistent changes can lead to massive improvements over time.
• The book emphasizes that habits shape our daily actions, and we are defined by what we repeatedly do.
• The key to long-term success is focusing on systems, not just goals.
• Success is often driven by the process, not just the result.
• Habits form through a four-stage loop: cue, craving, response, and reward.
• To create new habits, use the four laws of behavior change: make it obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying.
• Habit stacking is a strategy where you add a new habit to an already existing one.
• Temptation bundling helps make cravings attractive by linking a habit to something enjoyable.
• Making a habit easier by reducing steps or obstacles can increase success.
• Tracking progress, like using a habit scorecard, reinforces positive habits and helps you understand your habits better.

16. Dare to Lead – Brené Brown

• Dare to Lead by Brené Brown focuses on redefining leadership and the qualities that make someone a great leader.
• The book stresses the importance of vulnerability in leadership. Brown argues that vulnerability is not weakness but a key strength that enables courage and connection.
• Core values play a vital role in leadership. Leaders should be clear about their values as they guide decisions, especially in tough situations.
• Honesty is crucial for great leadership. Leaders should provide direct, constructive feedback, even when it is difficult.
• Brown emphasizes the need for trust in relationships. She introduces the acronym "BRAVING" to explain the behaviors that build trust, such as reliability, accountability, and generosity.
• The book highlights that failure is a part of growth. Great leaders should embrace failure and learn from it instead of letting it hold them back.
• Brown encourages leaders to create a culture of openness. Regular check-ins with teams can help address issues, build trust, and keep communication clear.
• A leader's vulnerability can inspire empathy in others, fostering a supportive work environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts.
• Perfectionism is identified as a barrier to effective leadership. Brown argues that leaders should let go of perfectionism to embrace growth, learning, and courage.
• The book suggests that simplicity and clarity in decision-making are essential, and leaders should focus on a few core values to guide their actions.

17. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* – Mark Manson

• The book teaches readers how to prioritize what truly matters in life and ignore unimportant things.
• It challenges the idea of exceptionalism, stating that most people lead average lives, and that’s perfectly fine.
• The author discusses how feelings of self-entitlement can negatively affect happiness.
• Manson advises against constantly chasing happiness, suggesting that embracing suffering can lead to personal growth.
• He emphasizes that we are responsible for our choices and how we respond to life’s challenges.
• The book criticizes the over-saturation of self-help advice, offering a more honest and realistic perspective.
• Manson urges readers to face difficulties head-on, as doing so can lead to improvement and empowerment.
• The book’s message is straightforward: Life isn’t about being happy all the time but about making meaningful choices.

18. The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz

• The book introduces four life-changing agreements that can lead to freedom and happiness.
• These agreements are based on ancient wisdom from the Toltec people of Mexico.
• The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. Words shape our reality, so we should avoid negative self-talk and judgment.
• The second agreement is to not take anything personally. People's actions reflect their own beliefs, not yours.
• The third agreement is to not make assumptions. Misunderstandings happen when we assume things without clear communication.
• The fourth agreement is to always do your best. Your best will vary depending on circumstances, but doing your best prevents regret.
• The book emphasizes letting go of harmful beliefs imposed by society to live a more positive and authentic life.
• The power of forgiveness is also highlighted, as it frees us from resentment and negative emotions.
• By practicing these agreements, we can overcome the control of our inner judges and create a fulfilling life.

19. How to Be an Adult in Relationships – David Richo

• How to Be an Adult in Relationships by David Richo explores the five key aspects of mindful loving: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.
• The book begins by emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and understanding how past experiences, especially from childhood, influence adult relationships.
• The five A’s are detailed as the core principles for healthy relationships:
  • Attention is being fully present and listening to your partner.
  • Acceptance is unconditional love and embracing each other's imperfections.
  • Appreciation involves expressing gratitude to validate and encourage your partner.
  • Affection includes both physical and emotional expressions of care.
  • Allowing means respecting your partner’s individuality and giving space in the relationship.
• The author addresses common relationship challenges like unresolved trauma and unmet expectations, offering strategies for overcoming them.
• Practical exercises and meditations are provided to help cultivate the five A’s and promote mindful loving in relationships.
• The book also discusses the impact of childhood trauma on adult relationships and the importance of healing past wounds.
• It emphasizes mindfulness and self-respect as essential for finding and maintaining fulfilling relationships.
• Richo explores the three phases of relationships- romance, conflict, and commitment- and explains how understanding these phases can lead to lasting love.
• The book teaches how to manage relationship fears like abandonment and engulfment, using the Triple-A approach (Admit, Allow, Act As If).
• Ultimately, the book encourages individuals to love one person deeply, which can lead to greater love and compassion for others.

20. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle explores deep concepts, including the idea that you are not your mind.
• The mind is a tool, but it often takes control, leading to constant thoughts and worries about the past and future.
• Tolle encourages the reader to observe their thoughts without identifying with them, creating separation from the mind.
• By becoming aware of your thoughts, you can discover a higher level of consciousness beyond the mind.
• Focusing on the present moment can help you feel more alive and aware, reducing the mind's power over you.
• Tolle teaches that time is inseparable from the mind, and focusing on the now helps silence the mind's distractions.
• The mind often escapes the present by focusing on the past or future, causing stress and anxiety.
• Acceptance of the present moment is key, as resisting what is creates pain and suffering.
• Acceptance does not mean inaction; it means working with the moment as it is, not against it.
• The book encourages mindfulness and living fully in the present to experience true peace and happiness.

21. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman

• Daniel Goleman argues that IQ alone does not determine success. Emotional intelligence (EQ) plays a crucial role.
• EQ consists of five key skills: self-awareness, managing emotions, self-motivation, empathy, and relationship management.
• Venting anger does not help. Instead, it prolongs and intensifies negative emotions.
• To control anger, take deep breaths, go for a walk, or reframe negative thoughts.
• Dwelling on sadness worsens depression. Distractions like exercise, small achievements, and positive thinking help.
• Constructive criticism should be specific, solution-oriented, and delivered with empathy.
• Emotions are contagious. People influence others through their energy, enthusiasm, and emotional expressions.
• Studies show that people with high EQ often succeed more than those with high IQ.

22. Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

• Daniel Goleman argues that emotional intelligence (EQ) is crucial for success in the workplace.
• He identifies five key components of EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
• Leaders with high EQ communicate better, handle pressure well, and build strong teams.
• Emotional intelligence helps teams work together effectively by fostering trust and cooperation.
• Companies can improve EQ through training, coaching, and supportive work environments.
• Employees with strong EQ are more likely to succeed in their careers than those with only technical skills.
• Research shows that employers value emotional intelligence more than IQ or technical ability.
• High EQ professionals build better relationships, solve conflicts effectively, and inspire others.
• Stress management and self-regulation are key to maintaining focus and productivity under pressure.
• Goleman emphasizes that developing EQ leads to greater job satisfaction and long-term career success.

These books cover various aspects of emotional intelligence, resilience, and mental toughness, offering valuable insights to help you grow stronger and more emotionally mature.

Conclusion

In conclusion, reading books on emotional intelligence, resilience, and mental toughness can transform your approach to life's challenges. 

You can face adversity with confidence and perseverance by improving your emotional resilience and mental strength. 

These books are not just for personal growth—they equip you with the tools to handle difficult emotions, strengthen your mindset, and build a healthier, more balanced life.

No matter your struggles, the right knowledge can empower you to overcome obstacles and become stronger and more resilient. 

By dedicating yourself to learning and growing from these books, you can unlock your full potential and navigate life with greater wisdom and emotional balance.

Choose the books that resonate with you, and start your journey to becoming a more emotionally aware and mentally strong person.