Book: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead is a 2013 book encouraging women to assert themselves at work and at home, co-written by business executive Sheryl Sandberg and media writer Nell Scovell. Wikipedia
- Author: Sheryl Sandberg
- Published: 2013
- Publisher: Alfred A. Knopf
- Pages: 247 pp.
|Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
Lean In Sheryl Sandberg Quotes
Women born in the 80s and 90s are also unlikely to be like men... and describe themselves with characteristics such as "leader", "visionary", "confidence" and "willingness to take risks". ——Quoted on page 1001
If your heart is like fear, what will you do?The finish is better than perfect.Capable people are distressed by self-doubt. This phenomenon has its scientific name-"burden syndrome". Both men and women are prone to such symptoms, but women will be more serious and more restricted. ...——Quoted on page 1001
Women tend to attribute their success to "work hard", "good luck" or "helped by others", while men usually attribute their internal abilities and skills; women often attribute their failures to their lack of ability, And men often attribute it to “not enough research or “not really interested”. Try not to think of yourself like that....When looking for your next goal, there is no such thing as a perfect time. You have to take the initiative to seize the opportunity and create an opportunity that suits you, instead of just rejecting it. ——Quoted on page 1001
The examples of Heidi and Howard are very impressive. In the same story, just because of the feminine and masculine names, people have such a big gap in their views of the protagonist.Sandberg told Zuckerberg when he applied for Facebook"Zuckerberg, I understand that you want to hire me to manage your marketing team, so of course you want me to be a good negotiator. This is the only face-to-face negotiation between you and me." ——Quoted on page 1001
The idea of wanting to "win everyones like" will hinder my development. He said that when you want to make things change, you can't please everyone; and if you please, everyone, you won't make enough progress. ——Quoted on page 1001
Although it sounds silly, I still hope that I can change the world. ——Quoted on page 1001
If someone invites you to board a rocket, don't ask where to sit after going up, you just need to go up. ——Quoted on page 1001
Thinking of the problem from the perspective of common interests, it meets people's expectations and is a wise choice. ——Quoted on page 1001
It is unlikely that it can be established by saying "Can you be my mentor". The strongest guiding relationship can only be established when both parties feel that this is a connection that can be obtained through hard work. ——Quoted on page 1001
Soliciting the opinions of others does not mean that you are weak, but it can be the first step in finding your way forward.Thinking that high-level men and basic-level men sitting in a bar can be regarded as mentors and mentors; a high-level male and a basic-level female sitting in a bar can also be regarded as mentors and mentors... But they looked more like they were dating. Such an interpretation will make women shrink back and fall into a dilemma. ——Quoted on page 1001
Outstanding leadership is "clear" leadership. ...The starting point for effective communication is to understand "I have my own view (my reason), and he has his own view (his reason)... When we admit that our views on things are limited, we can share the opinions of others in a gentle way. ——Quoted on page 1001
"I think there are many good reasons to watch this new business, and I believe that the management team has conducted a thorough return on investment analysis. However, I am not sure whether we have considered the impact of adopting this strategy now?" With so many explanations, it is difficult to figure out what the speaker thinks. ——Quoted on page 1001
When conveying unacceptable facts, the principle of "less is more" is usually followed. ——Quoted on page 1001
When my younger siblings and I were young, whenever we had a dispute, my mother would let us (in fact, it’s more like forcing" to imitate each other, which is to repeat what the other person said before responding to each other...All I hope is that others can be certified to listen to themselves. When we show that we are listening attentively, we will gradually become better listeners. ——Quoted on page 1001
"How can I do better?" "Is there anything I'm doing that I don't really understand?" "Is there something I didn't notice and I didn't do it well?" Asking these questions will have many benefits. Believe me, the truth will bring pain. Although when I collected feedback, any criticism sounded so harsh, the pain of knowing the truth is always more beneficial than the happiness in the dark.Another way I try to communicate sincerely is to openly talk about my shortcomings. ——Quoted on page 1001
A recent study found that the word most often used to describe high-performance leaders was actually "a sense of humor." ——Quoted on page 1001
You need to communicate constantly, and be honest and tolerant. We can never share housework in half at any time. Complete equality is difficult to define or maintain. We allow occasional biases.——Quoted on page 1001
The best way to make room for life and career is to make conscious choices, set up wiring, and then strictly abide by these boundaries.The key to happiness when setting an attainable goalBoth women and men should let go of their guilt, even if time passes by minute by minute. The mystery is that there is no mystery-take what you already have and try your best.The feedback I got from TED talks convinced me that I should continue to express opinions like this, and also encourage others to do so. We need to break the deadlock. Conversation can change ideas, ideas can change behavior, and behavior can change the environment. ——Quoted on page 1001
We should work hard to resolve our differences quickly, and when we disagree, we should focus on the common goal. This is not to ask us to reduce arguments but to increase constructive arguments. ——Quoted on page 1001
Our job is not to get gratitude from young women but to make them work hard when they are dissatisfied. ——Quoted on page 1001
- Get rid of fear, stand up bravely, and do what you want to do
- Build self-confidence, pretend to be true, so you can seize the opportunity
- Don’t please everyone, dare to talk Condition
- Establish long-term goals/dreams and short-term goals for 18 months, and choose a workplace that allows you to grow.
- Good mentors and sponsors will make you grow and improve.
- Candid communication is essential to any relationship.
- Don’t give up any career opportunities for children (especially those born a long time later).
- It is normal for women to earn half of the bread and for men to do half of the housework.
- Completion is better than perfection. Work and life should be balanced. Bear's paw can't have both.
- Feminism is about fighting for the equality of women in society, politics, and the economy.
- Ultimate equality requires the efforts of both sexes, but also the mutual support between women. The notes provided at the end of the book are very useful for gender research!
Book Summary: Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
Book Review: Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
In Chapter 5 "Are you my mentor?" Sheryl wrote:
- "Many of these young women are responding to the often-repeated advice that if they want to scale the corporate ladder, they need to find mentors (people who will advise them) as well as sponsors (people who will use their influence to advocate for them). First of all, mentors and sponsors are crucial to a person’s career path!
- "No matter how crucial these connections are, they probably won't develop from asking a virtual stranger,' Will you be my mentor?' The strongest relationships spring out of a real and often earned connection felt by both sides. "It can be seen that when you want to approach a senior to be your mentor, never rush to ask "be my mentor" after her/his speech. Right". This is very impolite and no one will accept a total stranger as a mentee.
- "Intuitively, people invest in those who stand out for their talent or who can really benefit from help. Mentors continue to invest when mentees use their time well and are truly open to feedback". One is that the Mentor sees talent and the Potential mentee actively provides offers, which is very lucky, but it also has extremely high personal requirements on the mentee. In the subsequent relationship, the mentee must respect the mentor's time and effort, give feedback, and express gratitude without concealment.
- "Capturing someone's attention or imagination in a minute can be done, but only when planned and tailored to that individual." Every time you meet with a Mentor or ask for help, be actively prepared "always with an interesting point or a thoughtful question. Never ask a question that you could have found the answer to on your own."
- "Mentorship is often a more reciprocal relationship than it may appear, especially in situations where people are already working at the same company." Both sides have benefits.
- If you are a lower-level employee, how do you establish a mentorship with a senior person? First, highlight your work and let the senior notice you; second, seize the rare opportunity to ask seniors for advice, take care not to take too long, and follow up and update afterward. You can also ask for guidance. In this way, even if the word Mentor is not mentioned, the senior has become your actual mentor unknowingly. Of course, remember to express gratitude.
- Finally, keep in mind that "Asking for input is not a sign of weakness but often the first step to finding a path forward." To have confidence and courage.
Challenges Facing Women
- Facing Women So many obstacles are basically due to fear...If there is no fear, women can freely pursue career success and personal happiness, and can freely choose the former or the latter, or even both.
- Especially women, they often feel that they are not worthy of being recognized, unworthy of being praised, and feel guilty as if they have made some mistakes.
- Compared with men, women's self-confidence and self-esteem will suffer a greater blow, and the resulting failure and internalization of insecurity will hurt her future performance, so this mental model has serious long-term negative effects. Tip: When you feel unconfident, "pretend to be confident".
- Women are more cautious about changing roles and seeking new challenges... Women all need to be more open to career adventures. The price of stability is usually reduced growth opportunities. Tip: Take risks, choose to grow, challenge yourself, and actively strive for higher positions when you should be promoted. Of course, you must smile.
- Social customs and traditions, pressure from peers, parents' expectations, etc., will all have an impact on us...Society's expectations of different genders still largely affect the future of men and women.
Success and welcome
- The inherent image of women is: caring for others, sensitive, enthusiastic about public affairs... Wisdom and success are not the main factors for women of any age to gain popularity.
- Since people's expectation of women is to pay attention to others when they protect their own interests or maintain their own values, everyone will not have a good impression of this behavior.
- The goal of a successful negotiation is not only to achieve expectations but also to continue to make others like yourself. Women can increase the success rate of negotiations by combining these two goals. First of all, the impression women give to others should be friendly, caring about others, and have the right femininity. Tips: "Think about personalization and act publicly", "have the support of higher-level personnel", and "Tell the other party that there are other companies that are ready to give themselves job opportunities".
- Gentle persistence. This approach requires women to smile often, express gratitude and concern, mention more common interests, emphasize greater goals, and focus on problem-solving rather than a critical stance when negotiating. Most negotiations will go through a long, continuous phase. While maintaining a high level of focus, please don’t forget to keep smiling.
Tolerance and acceptance
- Learning to accept criticism from others is a necessary step for women.
- I certainly hope that I can be strong enough to ignore what others say, but experience tells me that this is usually impossible. However, allow yourself to be unhappy or even sad, and then move on This is what I can do. (Accept yourself, don't you?)
- Acknowledge the role of emotions, face them, and accept it. This will make us work better and build smoother interpersonal relationships.
- Keeping an open mind to meet the truth also means taking responsibility for your own mistakes.
- When you want to make things change, you can't please everyone; and if you please, everyone, you won't get enough progress. --Mark Zuckerberg
Long-term dreams and short-term goals
- When choosing a job, only one criterion is important, which is whether it allows you to grow quickly.
- Everyone should have a long-term dream, and I also believe that everyone should have an "18-month goal".
- First, and most importantly, set goals based on "what can my team do for the company" (pay attention to team growth and common interests). Secondly, how can we improve ourselves?
Grasp the noble person in life
- Men are concerned about how to run the business itself, while women are concerned about how to plan their careers; men want answers, and women want permission and help.
- Research shows that the selection of students by tutors is based on their external performance and internal potential. People instinctively invest in those who are talented and who can really benefit from the funding. When the mentee can make good use of time and sincerely accept feedback, the mentor will continue to invest in it.
- Studies by sociologists and psychologists have proved that our hearts are very eager to participate in reciprocal behavior.
- Ask a stranger to do your own thing, the probability of success is not great; but after careful consideration, and clear and direct questions, this way of communication is helpful...but only if you are fully prepared It is possible to do it only when (you should first think about what you want to do).
- It is better to pay more attention to how to solve specific problems. Most people in a guiding position are very good at solving problems, so give them a problem that needs to be solved. (It can be started gradually from a specific question)
- The best effect of communication comes from a proper and sincere manner of speaking. The key point is an honest expression after appropriate modification.
- The starting point for effective communication is to understand "I have what I see, he has what others see", pay attention to language simplicity, and listening is as important as speaking.
- Repeating the other side's point of view can clarify the differences, which is the first step in solving the problem.
- Soliciting feedback can help us understand the impression we leave on others, maintain a learning attitude, and help us build relationships. Tip: Have I helped you lately?
- When a person's attitude remains open and frank, public praise and gratitude for this will also encourage team members.
- Sharing our emotions can help us build deeper relationships. The enthusiasm for work comes from our attention to things, but also from our care for others.
Finding a life partner
- I firmly believe that the most important life decision of a woman is whether she is willing to have a life partner who understands her and cares about her.
- If you want a partner who thinks that you can get along with each other as equals, then you must establish an equal relationship from the beginning. Even after finding the right life partner, no one is fully prepared.
- When you want to settle down, you should find a man who is willing to get along with you on an equal footing. This type of man will think that women should be smart, independent, and enterprising; he will value fairness and be prepared to share family responsibilities, even very willing to do so. (Believe that there are good men with understanding and a strong sense of responsibility at all ages)
- Like all marriages, maintaining such a fragile balance requires constant communication, honesty, and tolerance.
- In order to change the non-ideal state, it is worth both sides to work hard at any time.
- When women need to be aggressive at work, men need to play a greater role at home. I have seen many women who are too controlling or too picky, which inadvertently discourages men’s enthusiasm for sharing housework. (Learn to let go, learn to praise)Note: This is not a biological problem, but a consciousness problem.
- If the husband does more housework, the wife will not be so depressed, the conflict between the two will be reduced, and the satisfaction with the married life will naturally increase. For men, more participation in the parenting process of their children can also cultivate their patience, compassion, and adaptability.
Balancing work and family
- Complete, better than perfect. Done is better than perfect. (The perfectionist pays attention!)
- Setting an achievable goal is the key to happiness. Setting obtainable goals is key to happiness. What needs to be pursued is not perfection, but a sustainable and achievable plan as the goal. (I am often reminded of this point repeatedly: P)
- (Work) The requirements for our time are endless, so the decision-making power of work is actually in our own hands, and we have the responsibility to draw the boundaries. Tip: I started to work more efficiently: only when attending or hosting necessary meetings, my attention will be more concentrated; every minute I leave home, I firmly raise my work efficiency to the highest level. I try to achieve a balance between work and family every day.
- The key to pursuing a career while raising children is to learn where you should concentrate. We have to decide which things are important, which things are not important, and what are really important things to strive for perfection...You can't be overly obsessed with those unimportant things.
- When you are a parent, there is really no way to control all variables. Life will always be a little messy, but embrace such chaos; life will still be a little complicated, let's have fun in the complexity. Things are beyond your imagination. Surprise is a good thing. Don't be afraid. You can change your mind at any time. (Accept yourself, live a tolerant life, stay positive and optimistic) With the support of my partner
- I started to see the dilemma (job opportunity or childbearing) as a design problem... I came to the conclusion: If you learn from my husband and friends If you get support there and take "teamwork", the problem can be solved.
- A responsible, positive, and optimistic father, a mother who advocates "children's independent action", and a higher parental relationship between marriage and affection, these factors have an impact on the child two to three times more than in any form.
- Mothers often feel self-blame for the influence of the work team and family, but fathers usually do not. Controlling guilt is as important as time management. Tip: When I am not so concerned about conflict and compromise, but more concerned about the work at hand, I will calm down and feel satisfied.
- If a female marathon runner can ignore the shouts of the crowd and pass the most difficult middle part of the race, then she will often continue to run.
- Be successful, make the best choices for yourself, and accept them. The mystery is... take what you already have and try as hard as you can!