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Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg, Reviews

Introduction: Lean In - Sheryl Sandberg Book 

Thirty years after women became 50 percent of the college graduates in the United States, men still hold the vast majority of leadership positions in government and industry. This means that women's voices are still not heard equally in the decisions that most affect our lives. In Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg examines why women's progress in achieving leadership roles has stalled, explains the root causes, and offers compelling, commonsense solutions that can empower women to achieve their full potential.

Sandberg is the chief operating officer of Facebook and is ranked on Fortune's list of the 50 Most Powerful Women in Business and as one of Time's 100 Most Influential People in the World. In 2010, she gave an electrifying TEDTalk in which she described how women unintentionally hold themselves back in their careers. Her talk, which became a phenomenon and has been viewed more than two million times, encouraged women to “sit at the table,” seek challenges, take risks, and pursue their goals with gusto.

In Lean In, Sandberg digs deeper into these issues, combining personal anecdotes, hard data, and compelling research to cut through the layers of ambiguity and bias surrounding the lives and choices of working women. She recounts her own decisions, mistakes, and daily struggles to make the right choices for herself, her career, and her family. She provides practical advice on negotiation techniques, mentorship, and building a satisfying career, urging women to set boundaries and to abandon the myth of “having it all.” She describes specific steps women can take to combine professional achievement with personal fulfillment and demonstrates how men can benefit by supporting women in the workplace and at home.

Written with both humor and wisdom, Sandberg's book is an inspiring call to action and a blueprint for individual growth. Lean In is destined to change the conversation from what women can't do to what they can.
lean-in-sheryl-sandberg-book

About the author "Lean In" Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl Sandberg is a chief operating officer at Facebook. Prior to Facebook, she was vice president of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google and chief of staff at the US Treasury Department. Sheryl lives in Northern California with her husband and their two children.



Lean In Sheryl Sandberg quotes 


Women born in the 80s and 90s are also unlikely to be like men... and describe themselves with characteristics such as "leader", "visionary", "confidence" and "willingness to take risks"——Quoted on page 1001

If your heart is like fear, what will you do?
Finish is better than perfect.
The capable people are distressed by self-doubt. This phenomenon has its scientific name-"burden syndrome". Both men and women are prone to such symptoms, but women will be more serious and more restricted. ...——Quoted on page 1001

Women tend to attribute their success to "work hard", "good luck" or "helped by others", while men usually attribute their internal abilities and skills; women often attribute their failures to their lack of ability, And men often attribute it to “not enough research or “not really interested”. Try not to think of yourself like that.

...When looking for your next goal, there is no such thing as a perfect time. You have to take the initiative to seize the opportunity and create an opportunity that suits you, instead of just rejecting it. ——Quoted on page 1001

The examples of Heidi and Howard are very impressive. In the same story, just because of the feminine and masculine names, people have such a big gap in their views of the protagonist.

Sandberg told Zuckerberg when he applied for Facebook

"Zuckerberg, I understand that you want to hire me to manage your marketing team, so of course you want me to be a good negotiator. This is the only face-to-face negotiation between you and me." ——Quoted on page 1001

So smart, she not only reached the negotiation but also continued to make others like herself.

Zuckerberg told Sandberg,

The idea of ​​wanting to "win everyones like" will hinder my development. He said that when you want to make things change, you can't please everyone; and if you please, everyone, you won't make enough progress. ——Quoted on page 1001

The most touching sentence in the book is,

Although it sounds silly, I still hope that I can change the world. ——Quoted on page 1001

When Schmidt invited the author to Google, he convinced her like this

If someone invites you to board a rocket, don't ask where to sit after going up, you just need to go up. ——Quoted on page 1001

If a company is growing rapidly, no matter what you do, it is full of opportunities and challenges. I'll know when I go.

The foundation of partnership and employment lies in

Thinking of the problem from the perspective of common interests, it meets people's expectations and is a wise choice. ——Quoted on page 1001

Everyone can get help from a life mentor, but looking for a life mentor,

It is unlikely that it can be established by saying "Can you be my mentor". The strongest guiding relationship can only be established when both parties feel that this is a connection that can be obtained through hard work. ——Quoted on page 1001

Men’s questions focus on how to run the business itself, while women focus on how to plan their careers; men want answers, while women want permission and help.

Express your thoughts boldly and others will respond without having to "seek your opinion", "listen to your opinion", "I'm not sure if this is the case, but I think..." Please don't ask for permission again, Speak your opinion directly! The business or the matter itself is more important than the attitude/image of "you"!

Soliciting the opinions of others does not mean that you are weak, but it can be the first step in finding your way forward.
Thinking that high-level men and basic-level men sitting in a bar can be regarded as mentors and mentors; a high-level male and a basic-level female sitting in a bar can also be regarded as mentors and mentors... But they looked more like they were dating. Such an interpretation will make women shrink back and fall into a dilemma. ——Quoted on page 1001

Maybe you are indeed in such an environment, but don’t forget that you always have a choice. You can change circles. They may be more open to gender equality, or they may change positively, like Sandberg, even though this is slow or required. time.

Outstanding leadership is "clear" leadership. ...The starting point for effective communication is to understand "I have my own view (my reason), and he has his own view (his reason)... When we admit that our views on things are limited, we can share the opinions of others in a gentle way. ——Quoted on page 1001

Different expressions may trigger "dissent" or "discussion".

"I think there are many good reasons to watch this new business, and I believe that the management team has conducted a thorough return on investment analysis. However, I am not sure whether we have considered the impact of adopting this strategy now?" With so many explanations, it is difficult to figure out what the speaker thinks. ——Quoted on page 1001

What a vivid example!

When conveying unacceptable facts, the principle of "less is more" is usually followed. ——Quoted on page 1001

There is another interesting example that can be used on my children in the future.

When my younger siblings and I were young, whenever we had a dispute, my mother would let us (in fact, it’s more like forcing" to imitate each other, which is to repeat what the other person said before responding to each other...All I hope is that others can be certified to listen to themselves. When we show that we are listening attentively, we will gradually become better listeners. ——Quoted on page 1001

What a clever mother!

"How can I do better?" "Is there anything I'm doing that I don't really understand?" "Is there something I didn't notice and I didn't do it well?" Asking these questions will You have many benefits. Believe me, the truth will bring pain. Although when I collected feedback, any criticism sounded so harsh, the pain of knowing the truth is always more beneficial than the happiness in the dark.
Another way I try to communicate sincerely is to openly talk about my shortcomings. ——Quoted on page 1001

What xl said is right. Without trust, everyone will hide their shortcomings, but talking about their shortcomings may win trust.

A recent study found that the word most often used to describe high-performance leaders was actually "a sense of humor." ——Quoted on page 1001

Yes, when a person can still joke, he is mostly calm and confident. I think this is "optimism based on facts."

In the family, there is a balance between partners (couples),

You need to communicate constantly, be honest and tolerant. We can never share housework in half at any time. Complete equality is difficult to define or maintain. We allow occasional biases.Quoted on page 1001

As mentioned in Willpower, you can pack your luggage as much time as you have. so,

The best way to make room for life and career is to make conscious choices, set up wiring, and then strictly abide by these boundaries.
The key to happiness when setting an attainable goal
Both women and men should let go of their guilt, even if time passes by minute by minute. The mystery is that there is no mystery-take what you already have and try your best.
The feedback I got from TED talks convinced me that I should continue to express opinions like this, and also encourage others to do so. We need to break the deadlock. Conversation can change ideas, ideas can change behavior, and behavior can change the environment. ——Quoted on page 1001

Speaking of your opinion, although it is slow to get results, it is also helpful to be aware of the problem (by yourself or by others).

When someone interrupts another person's conversation, someone needs to point it out. I hope I can become such a person.

We should work hard to resolve our differences quickly, and when we disagree, we should focus on the common goal. This is not to ask us to reduce arguments but to increase constructive arguments. ——Quoted on page 1001

Stop carrying "guilt", "self-blame" and dissatisfaction with yourself.
Susan Anthony said,

Our job is not to get gratitude from young women, but to make them work hard when they are dissatisfied. ——Quoted on page 1001

These outstanding women have indeed changed the world. They are full of emotions, passion, peace-loving, and vision. What they have said, after decades, is still very correct and mindful, which is truly amazing.

I also want to be such a woman.


Short Comment

It is really true that women lower their expectations, do most of the housework, bring children, sacrifice career goals, and make room for their partners and children who have not yet existed. 

Tips: 
  1. Get rid of fear, stand up bravely, and do what you want to do 
  2. Build self-confidence, pretend to be true, so you can seize the opportunity 
  3. Don’t please everyone, dare to talk Condition 
  4. Establish long-term goals/dreams and short-term goals for 18 months, and choose a workplace that allows you to grow. 
  5. Good mentors and sponsors will make you grow and improve. 
  6. Candid communication is essential to any relationship. 
  7. Don’t give up any career opportunities for children (especially those born a long time later). 
  8. It is normal for women to earn half of the bread and men to do half of the housework. 
  9. Completion is better than perfection. Work and life should be balanced. Bear's paw can't have both. 
  10. Feminism is about fighting for the equality of women in society, politics, and the economy. 
  11. Ultimate equality requires the efforts of both sexes, but also the mutual support between women. The notes provided at the end of the book are very useful for gender research!

Summary of lean in by Sheryl Sandberg 

I don't know how to start this story.

I can only say that I have a girlfriend who has encountered a mid-life crisis of beauty. She is so beautiful, looks good, looks slim and beautiful, and can attract attention wherever she is. She has a gentle personality, interesting speech, likes music, writes novels by herself, has a husband who loves her very much, and has a very interesting job. Everything is so perfect, except for her 28th birthday. How old is the man’s midlife crisis? It should be 45 in "American Beauty" and 50 in "Shall we dance". When you feel that life can only go downhill, you will really desperately want to catch something. This feeling is stronger when you are used to having a lot.

Recently I read 2 books related to women: "Lean In" and "What About Thirty-One Years Old". The former told me that there are many choices in this world, but don't shrink back just because you are a woman. Go and fight for what you want. You can work until the day you give birth, or you can work harder than everyone else. You have to lean in, sit on the table, keep your hands up, and you can cry and move on. Knowing that you are a woman does not mean you have to sit at home obediently and define your role as a withdrawal from the beginning. You can still take risks, take on more responsibilities, and strive for more things. Rights and obligations are always balanced. If you want to be free, you cannot rely on others.

And "What About Thirty-One" is another medicine. If "Lean In" is chicken blood, this book is chicken soup. Everyone's fortunes are different, there are good and bad, some can be changed and some have to be forced. If you are afraid of getting old and afraid of losing, then show you the bad ones first. Even so, it doesn't matter. Because it is unknown, so terrible. If all is known, it would be fine. Life goes on, right?

How will I live? This night of sleeplessness, I cannot define my own rules. I can only think vaguely, at least not to marry a child as the greatest success, nor to show a good life to others. Be honest with yourself, make yourself brave, and strive for what you really want. Others, just pray that the world treats me kindly.

Sheryl Sandberg's TED talk: Why are there so few female leaders?




Book Review of Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg

After watching Sheryl Sandberg's TED talk, I have listened to her speech every word. Later, when she learned that she was going to publish a book on Women, Work, Leadership, she was even more delighted and consciously wanted to buy it and read it as soon as possible. Before I got the book, I also watched 60 Minutes' interviews with her, her recent talk in Chicago, and her talk show on Uncle's.

I got the book yesterday, and tonight I read the fifth chapter "Are you, my mentor?" This chapter has only 12 pages, but I copied 7 pages on my Moleskine Note!

Like most popular books, the list of recommenders for this book is rich and powerful. The promotion and marketing activities before the publication of the book, the promotion on Facebook, and the establishment of the "lean in" website have all brought Lean In and Sheryl himself to the greatest extent; and unlike other best-sellers, Sheryl’s own career experience is very Rich and attractive, she has worked in government departments (US Treasury), McKinsey Consulting, Google, and Facebook. As a result, I have to thank her for not only doing her own job to the extreme but also being a caring person/observer who has not hesitated to share her experience and thoughts with readers all over the world, especially women.

In Chapter 5 "Are you my mentor?" Sheryl wrote:

  1. "Many of these young women are responding to the often-repeated advice that if they want to scale the corporate ladder, they need to find mentors (people who will advise them) as well as sponsors (people who will use their influence to advocate for them). First of all, mentors and sponsors are crucial to a person’s career path!
  2. "No matter how crucial these connections are, they probably won't develop from asking a virtual stranger,' Will you be my mentor?' The strongest relationships spring out of a real and often earned connection felt by both sides. "It can be seen that when you want to approach senior to be your mentor, never rush to ask "be my mentor" after her/his speech. Right". This is very impolite and no one will accept a total stranger as a mentee.
  3. "Intuitively, people invest in those who stand out for their talent or who can really benefit from help. Mentors continue to invest when mentees use their time well and are truly open to feedback". One is that Mentor sees talent and Potential mentee actively provides offers, which is very lucky, but it also has extremely high personal requirements on the mentee. In the subsequent relationship, the mentee must respect the mentor's time and effort, give feedback and express gratitude without concealment.
  4. "Capturing someone's attention or imagination in a minute can be done, but only when planned and tailored to that individual." Every time you meet with Mentor or ask for help, be actively prepared "always with an interesting point or a thoughtful question. Never ask a question that you could have found the answer to on your own."
  5. "Mentorship is often a more reciprocal relationship than it may appear, especially in situations where people are already working at the same company." Both sides have benefits.
  6. If you are a lower-level employee, how do you establish a mentorship with a senior person? First, highlight your work and let the senior notice you; second, seize the rare opportunity to ask seniors for advice, take care not to take too long, and follow up and update afterward. You can also ask for guidance. In this way, even if the word Mentor is not mentioned, senior has become your actual mentor unknowingly. Of course, remember to express gratitude.
  7. Finally, keep in mind "Asking for input is not a sign of weakness but often the first step to finding a path forward." To have confidence and courage.
With the help of noble people, life will be much easier. However, apart from being lucky, getting help from nobles is also inseparable from one's own efforts and the ability to seize opportunities.

Ever since I was a child, I have dreamed of being a lush tree (why). Both men and women deserve to have independent and complete personalities and self-realization, which are physical, physiological, professional, emotional, material, and spiritual. It needs to grow slowly. Just like a tree... it has different postures throughout the year, and it has different loads in the years. It cannot be required to have flowers and fruits at the same time, but growth is its eternal pursuit of".

As a woman, I have to constantly struggle with restlessness, low self-esteem, and guilt in my own character every day. At the same time, I have to face the social and surrounding pressures that always exist everywhere. Obviously, changes to society cannot be achieved in a day or two, nor can they be achieved by one person. Sheryl’s writing is a bit fragmented, but it is very sincere and true. It allows me to know myself more clearly and understand society. I believe many women in the future will have a lot of resonance.

Challenges Facing Women: 

  1. Facing Women So many obstacles are basically due to fear...If there is no fear, women can freely pursue career success and personal happiness, and can freely choose the former or the latter, or even both.
  2. Especially women, they often feel that they are not worthy of being recognized, unworthy of being praised, and feel guilty as if they have made some mistakes.
  3. Compared with men, women's self-confidence and self-esteem will suffer a greater blow, and the resulting failure and internalization of insecurity will hurt her future performance, so this mental model has serious long-term negative effects. Tip: When you feel unconfident, "pretend to be confident".
  4. Women are more cautious about changing roles and seeking new challenges... Women all need to be more open to career adventures. The price of stability is usually reduced growth opportunities. Tip: Take risks, choose to grow, challenge yourself, and actively strive for higher positions when you should be promoted. Of course, you must smile.
  5. Social customs and traditions, pressure from peers, parents' expectations, etc., will all have an impact on us...Society's expectations of different genders still largely affect the future of men and women.

Success and welcome:

  1. The inherent image of women is: caring for others, sensitive, enthusiastic about public affairs... Wisdom and success are not the main factors for women of any age to gain popularity.
  2. Since people's expectation of women is to pay attention to others when they protect their own interests or maintain their own values, everyone will not have a good impression of this behavior.
  3. The goal of a successful negotiation is not only to achieve expectations but also to continue to make others like yourself. Women can increase the success rate of negotiations by combining these two goals. First of all, the impression women give to others should be friendly, caring about others, and have the right femininity. Tips: "Think about personalization and act publicly", "have the support of higher-level personnel", "tell the other party that there are other companies that are ready to give themselves job opportunities".
  4. Gentle persistence. This approach requires women to smile often, express gratitude and concern, mention more common interests, emphasize greater goals, and focus on problem-solving rather than a critical stance when negotiating. Most negotiations will go through a long, continuous phase. While maintaining a high level of focus, please don’t forget to keep smiling.

Tolerance and acceptance:

  1. Learning to accept criticism from others is a necessary step for women.
  2. I certainly hope that I can be strong enough to ignore what others say, but experience tells me that this is usually impossible. However, allow yourself to be unhappy or even sad, and then move on-this This is what I can do. (Accept yourself, don't you?)
  3. Acknowledge the role of emotions, face them, and accept it. This will make us work better and build smoother interpersonal relationships.
  4. Keeping an open mind to meet the truth also means taking responsibility for your own mistakes.
  5. When you want to make things change, you can't please everyone; and if you please, everyone, you won't get enough progress. --Mark Zuckerberg 

Long-term dreams and short-term goals:

  1. When choosing a job, only one criterion is important, which is whether it allows you to grow quickly.
  2. Everyone should have a long-term dream, and I also believe that everyone should have an "18-month goal".
  3. First, and most importantly, set goals based on "what can my team do for the company" (pay attention to team growth and common interests). Secondly, how can we improve ourselves?

Grasp the noble person in life:

  1. Men are concerned about how to run the business itself, while women are concerned about how to plan their careers; men want answers, and women want permission and help.
  2. Research shows that the selection of students by tutors is based on their external performance and internal potential. People instinctively invest in those who are talented and who can really benefit from the funding. When the mentee can make good use of time and sincerely accept feedback, the mentor will continue to invest in it.
  3. Studies by sociologists and psychologists have proved that our hearts are very eager to participate in reciprocal behavior.
  4. Ask a stranger to do your own thing, the probability of success is not great; but after careful consideration, clear and direct questions, this way of communication is helpful...but only if you are fully prepared It is possible to do it only when (you should first think about what you want to do).
  5. It is better to pay more attention to how to solve specific problems. Most people in a guiding position are very good at solving problems, so give them a problem that needs to be solved. (It can be started gradually from a specific question)

Communication skills:

  1. The best effect of communication comes from a proper and sincere manner of speaking. The key point is an honest expression after appropriate modification.
  2. The starting point for effective communication is to understand "I have what I see, he has what others see", pay attention to language simplicity, and listening is as important as speaking.
  3. Repeating the other side's point of view can clarify the differences, which is the first step in solving the problem.
  4. Soliciting feedback can help us understand the impression we leave on others, maintain a learning attitude, and help us build relationships. Tip: Have I helped you lately?
  5. When a person's attitude remains open and frank, public praise and gratitude for this will also encourage team members.
  6. Sharing our emotions can help us build deeper relationships. The enthusiasm for work comes from our attention to things, but also from our care for others.

Finding a life partner:

  1. I firmly believe that the most important life decision of a woman is whether she is willing to have a life partner who understands her and cares about her.
  2. If you want a partner who thinks that you can get along with each other as equals, then you must establish an equal relationship from the beginning. Even after finding the right life partner, no one is fully prepared.
  3. When you want to settle down, you should find a man who is willing to get along with you on an equal footing. This type of man will think that women should be smart, independent, and enterprising; he will value fairness and be prepared to share family responsibilities, even very willing to do so. (Believe that there are good men with understanding and a strong sense of responsibility at all ages)
  4. Like all marriages, maintaining such a fragile balance requires constant communication, honesty, and tolerance.
  5. In order to change the non-ideal state, it is worth both sides to work hard at any time.
  6. When women need to be aggressive at work, men need to play a greater role at home. I have seen many women who are too controlling or too picky, which inadvertently discourages men’s enthusiasm for sharing housework. (Learn to let go, learn to praise)Note: This is not a biological problem, but a consciousness problem.
  7. If the husband does more housework, the wife will not be so depressed, the conflict between the two will be reduced, and the satisfaction with the married life will naturally increase. For men, more participation in the parenting process of their children can also cultivate their patience, compassion, and adaptability.

Balancing work and family:

  1. Complete, better than perfect. Done is better than perfect. (The perfectionist pays attention!)
  2. Setting an achievable goal is the key to happiness. Setting obtainable goals is key to happiness. What needs to be pursued is not perfection, but a sustainable and achievable plan as the goal. (I am often reminded of this point repeatedly: P)
  3. (Work) The requirements for our time are endless, so the decision-making power of work is actually in our own hands, and we have the responsibility to draw the boundaries. Tip: I started to work more efficiently: only when attending or hosting necessary meetings, my attention will be more concentrated; every minute I leave home, I firmly raise my work efficiency to the highest level. I try to achieve a balance between work and family every day.
  4. The key to pursuing a career while raising children is to learn where you should concentrate. We have to decide which things are important, which things are not important, and what are really important things to strive for perfection...You can't be overly obsessed with those unimportant things.
  5. When you are a parent, there is really no way to control all variables. Life will always be a little messy, but embrace such chaos; life will still be a little complicated, let's have fun in the complexity. Things are beyond your imagination. Surprise is a good thing. Don't be afraid. You can change your mind at any time. (Accept yourself, live a tolerant life, stay positive and optimistic) With the support of my partner 
  6. I started to see the dilemma (job opportunity or childbearing) as a design problem... I came to the conclusion: If you learn from my husband and friends If you get support there and take "teamwork", the problem can be solved.
  7. A responsible, positive, and optimistic father, a mother who advocates "children's independent action", and a higher parental relationship between marriage and affection, these factors have an impact on the child two to three times more than in any form.
  8. Mothers often feel self-blame for the influence of the work team and family, but fathers usually do not. Controlling guilt is as important as time management. Tip: When I am not so concerned about conflict and compromise, but more concerned about the work at hand, I will calm down and feel satisfied.
  9. If a female marathon runner can ignore the shouts of the crowd and pass the most difficult middle part of the race, then she will often continue to run.
  10. Be successful, make the best choices for yourself, and accept them. The mystery is... take what you already have and try as hard as you can!
I can read this book Very slowly. After reading it, I thought about it for a long time, reflecting on some of the troubles I encountered before and the challenges I faced in the future. Writing this book review is not only to motivate me but also to encourage the female friends around me. In fact, as Rice commented, "this is a meaningful book for women and men of all ages."

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